The things i`m goin thru is really killing me.
No one would understand me till they go thru what im goin thru now.

I really wish that my late grandpa is here with me right now.
I`m helpless, penniless.
All i can do is just shut my mouth and be patient.
But i just wonder, till when?

Saying ; "be patient."
Its the easiest thing of all.
Doing it, is the most hardest thing to do.

I dont expect someone whom i concern & love alot will let me end up in this position.
Is being selfish brings happiness for her?
Is testing my patient brings happiness for her?
If it brings , that its good for her.

You dont realise that you`re torturing me physically and mentally.

I will promise to stay really down for the sake of my mum.
For her happiness.

But please god ; i beg eu.
Please give me the strength to go on this test.
Im falling apart.

Please ya allah.
Im suffering deep inside and no one knows.

; thanks bf for your words.
I will always remember what you say.
" God will never give any test that you are not able to go thru."

; much love.

* you will always be remembered my dear grandpa ; rest in peace.